Weekend Tennis Roundup

Jack Sock -- seen here in the only position that makes him look attractive -- defeated Filip Krajinovic 5-7, 6-4, 6-1 to win the Paris Masters -- and clinch the last spot in the ATP Finals in London. While it would be nice to think this first big title for the American was a sign of growth and promise, that he beat just one seed along the way (Lucas Pouille) and a qualifier in the finals makes it seem more like a fluke than anything. (He's also in the Top 10 because Novak Djokovic and Andy Murray have vanished.)

And is there anything we can do about that horrible Abe Lincoln facial hair?

Julien Benneteau offers another winning option, after defeating David Goffin to reach the semifinals.

And in the female equivalent of the "Next Gen" championship -- featuring last year's No. 1 player Angeliqe Kerber(!) -- No.7 seed Julia Goerges reeled off 11 of the last 12 games to defeat No.2 seed CoCo Vandeweghe 7-5, 6-1 in the final to claim her second title of the year. The 29-year-old made an unexpected comeback in the first set to take down the butch American in one hour and 20 minutes, as fellow German and tennis legend Steffi Graf watched from the stands.

Cute picture of this year's WTA Championships finalists!

I'd totally fuck Andy Mill and Chris Evert's oldest son, Alex.

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