Weekend Tennis Roundup

There are a million stories out of Melbourne, so let me just home in a few that really stood out. Hungarian hunk Márton Fucksalot — I mean Fucsovics and his pornstache gave Roger Federer a little bit more of a match than anyone expected. 

You may recall I noticed HIS ASS in June ...

Roger, please. ✋#AusOpen pic.twitter.com/FM7RMEkOju

— #AusOpen (@AustralianOpen) January 22, 2018

In fairness, there wasn't a lot he could do about this.

Damian was disappointed that Juan Martin del Potro lost to Tomas Berdych. But neither of us was complaining about getting to see the bottom-heavy Czech play again, this time destroying Fabio Fognini. (Márton has a better face than the Byrdman, but not quite the bod.)

Next up for Berdych is Federer. After upsetting the Swiss legend a couple of times, now it seems HE feels the pressure when they play, making it nearly impossible for him to get a set anymore. Guess we'll see if that's changed.

While I've been pretty down on my beloved women's tour of late, I have to admit the two best matches I watched this weekend were on the ladies' side. Simona Halep is definitely an embarrassing No. 1 -- have I mentioned that she won just ONE tournament last year and lost in the first round of two of the majors?! -- but she and Lauren Davis sure put on a show in their third-round match. The pint-sized American was fearless and aggressive, and probably would have won it when she had three match points if her toe nail hadn't come off. Halep ended fighting back, winning 4-6, 6-4, 15-13 to advance to the fourth round, where she easily dismissed Naomi Osaka, who I really thought had a bright future but am starting to doubt her mental strength. 

The other incredible match was 2016 champion Angelique Kerber versus No. 88 Hsieh Su-wei, who upset Garbiñe Muguruza and Agnieszka Radwańska en route to the round of 16. Kerber was the obvious favorite after dismantling Maria Sharapova in the third round -- are we sure meldonium isn't a performance-enhancing drug? -- but had her hands full with the clever Taiwanese, who played like the love child of Fabrice Santoro and Monica Seles, slicing and dicing the ball and inventing new angles until Kerber nearly broke down.. (Hearing that she was from Taiwan gave me flashbacks to Hu Na!) Somehow the 30-year-old German recovered from a set down to win 4-6, 7-5, 6-2, but everyone was in awe of the "zone"-like performance Su-wei put on for about 90 minutes. 

Chris Fowler, Chris Evert and Pam Shriver were dying as much as Damian and I were -- it was truly unbelievable! 

Kerber is the remaining Grand Slam champion in the women's singles draw. She will play American 17th seed Madison Keys in the final eight, who looked unbeatable in her match against Caroline Garcia. 

Congrats to Brit Kyle Edmund, who defeated Andreas Seppi 6-7, 7-5, 6-2, 6-3 to advance to his first major quarterfinal. His post-match interview sounded so much like Andy Murray I was downright spooked.

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